how to overcome loneliness in Islam for a girl?
Halal and Haram · Hanafi
Question
Answer
Answer (Hanafi)
1. First: Reassurance from the Qur'an and Sunnah
Loneliness, anxiety about the future, and regret over the past are not signs of weak faith — they are trials through which Allah draws His servant closer. The Qur'an addresses exactly this state:
"Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest." (Surah Ar-Ra'd 13:28)
"And whoever fears Allah — He will make for him a way out, and will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah — then He is sufficient for him." (Surah At-Talaq 65:2–3)
"Do not be sad; indeed Allah is with us." (Surah At-Tawbah 9:40)
The Prophet ﷺ taught a du'a for anxiety and grief, recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari (6369) and Sahih Muslim (2706):
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْهَمِّ وَالْحَزَنِ، وَالْعَجْزِ وَالْكَسَلِ، وَالْبُخْلِ وَالْجُبْنِ، وَضَلَعِ الدَّيْنِ وَغَلَبَةِ الرِّجَالِ "O Allah, I seek refuge in You from worry and grief, from incapacity and laziness, from miserliness and cowardice, from the burden of debt and from being overpowered by others."
Imam al-Tahawi and the Hanafi scholars explain that anxiety (hamm) and grief (hazan) are from the whispers of Shaytan and the nafs; the remedy is dhikr, tawakkul, and obedience — not isolation from Allah.
2. Understanding Loneliness in the Light of Hanafi Scholarship
Imam Ibn Abidin (Radd al-Muhtar, vol. 1, discussion on dhikr and khalwah) and Mulla Ali al-Qari (Mirqat al-Mafatih) note that the believer is never truly alone: the angels record, Allah sees, and the heart's companion is its Lord. Ashraf Ali Thanwi (Bahishti Zewar, Book of Etiquette) advises that a Muslim should not surrender to melancholy; rather, one should keep the tongue moist with dhikr and the company of righteous women.
Mufti Muhammad Shafi (Ma'ariful Qur'an, commentary on 13:28) writes: "The heart was created for dhikr; when it is emptied of it, it fills with anxiety. The cure for restlessness is not entertainment but remembrance."
Mufti Taqi Usmani (Islam aur Jadid Ma'ashi Masail / discourses on tazkiyah) emphasizes that tawakkul does not mean passivity — it means doing one's lawful means (asbab) while entrusting the result to Allah.
3. Practical Steps for a Girl with Social Anxiety
A. Establish the Five Prayers with Presence of Heart
Salah is the direct connection. The Prophet ﷺ said: "The prayer is a light" (Sahih Muslim 223). Begin by praying on time, even if distracted; consistency (mudawamah) is more beloved to Allah than quantity (Bukhari 6464). Imam al-Haskafi (Al-Durr al-Mukhtar) and Ibn Abidin stress that salah is the pillar of the religion and the believer's private audience with Allah — no social interaction required, no fear of judgment.
B. Daily Dhikr — the Antidote to Loneliness
- Morning and evening: SubhanAllah, Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar 33 times each after each fard prayer (Muslim 597).
- Ayat al-Kursi after each prayer (Nasai, Al-Sunan al-Kubra).
- Surah al-Fatihah as a du'a of connection.
- Istighfar 100 times daily — the Prophet ﷺ did so (Muslim 2702). This addresses regret over the past.
- Salawat upon the Prophet ﷺ — the one who sends salawat finds companionship (Muslim 408).
C. Tawakkul for the Future
Anxiety about the future is cured by the conviction that rizq, lifespan, and destiny are already written (Surah Al-Hadid 57:22; Bukhari 6596). Imam Abu Hanifa and Imam Abu Yusuf in Kitab al-Athar and the Hanafi creed (Al-Fiqh al-Akbar) affirm that Allah's decree is wise and good. Say often: حَسْبِيَ اللَّهُ وَنِعْمَ الْوَكِيلُ (Hasbiyallahu wa ni'mal wakil).
D. Regret over the Past
The Prophet ﷺ said: "Whoever says Astaghfirullah... Allah will relieve him of every worry and make a way out for him from every difficulty" (Abu Dawud 1518). The past is forgiven through tawbah; do not let Shaytan trap you in guilt. Imam al-Nasafi (Al-Ashbah wa al-Naza'ir) and Ibn Abidin note that tawbah wipes the sin entirely — the believer should move forward, not dwell.
E. Social Anxiety — A Balanced Approach
Islam does not require you to be extroverted. Modest seclusion and limited, purposeful social contact are permissible and even praiseworthy for a woman (see Radd al-Muhtar, Book of Nikah, on a woman's home and privacy). However:
- Attend the congregational prayer when feasible (for women, praying at home carries full reward — Abu Dawud 567).
- Keep one or two trustworthy righteous companions — the Prophet ﷺ said a good companion is like a perfume seller (Bukhari 5534).
- Seek halal means: a trustworthy female counselor, family support, and if anxiety is severe, medical help is permissible — the Hanafi jurists permit treatment (Radd al-Muhtar, Book of Diyat, on treatment). Illness is not a lack of faith.
F. Connecting with Allah in Every Circumstance
- Before every task: Bismillah.
- In distress: the du'a of Yunus (عليه السلام): لَا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا أَنتَ سُبْحَانَكَ إِنِّي كُنتُ مِنَ الظَّالِمِينَ (Surah Al-Anbiya 21:87).
- In joy: Alhamdulillah.
- In fear: La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah.
- At night: the du'as of sleeping and waking (Bukhari 6320).
- In loneliness: recite Surah al-Duha and reflect: "Your Lord has not forsaken you, nor has He become displeased" (93:3).
Imam al-Shashi (Usul al-Shashi) and the Hanafi scholars teach that the heart's connection to Allah is maintained through five daily prayers, dhikr, Qur'an recitation, and good company — these are the means (asbab) that Allah has appointed.
4. A Daily Routine (Suggested)
| Time | Action | |------|--------| | Fajr | Pray, recite Qur'an 10 minutes, morning adhkar | | After each salah | Tasbih 33×3, Ayat al-Kursi | | Midday | Istighfar 100×, salawat 10× | | Asr/Maghrib | Read one page of Qur'an with translation (Ma'ariful Qur'an) | | Isha | Du'a of anxiety (Bukhari 6369), review the day with gratitude | | Before sleep | Ayat al-Kursi, Surah al-Ikhlas/Falaq/Nas, du'a of sleeping |
5. Key Reminders
- You are never alone — Allah is closer than your jugular vein (Surah Qaf 50:16).
- Anxiety is not sin — it is a test; the reward is with patience (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:155–157).
- The past is forgiven through sincere tawbah; the future is written by the Most Wise; the present is where you worship.
- Seek halal help — family, a righteous female friend, a scholar, or a doctor — without shame.
- Consistency over intensity — small, daily acts of worship build the strongest connection.
May Allah remove your loneliness, calm your heart, and make you among those who find rest in His remembrance. Amin.
allah know best