what if husband says khula but wife refuses?

Waswasa-OCD · Ahle Hadith / Salafi

Question No: 2851
Questioner: Islamic Speech
Question Asked: 18 Jul 2026, 10:45 PM
Reviewed & Published: 18 Jul 2026, 10:49 PM
Views: 45
Tokens: 5,518
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This answer is according to the 'Ahle Hadith / Salafi' school of thought.
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Question

Last august or September আমি আমার স্বামীকে বলছিলাম আমি খুলা করব অনুমতি দিন, and this fight was happening for almost half hour lots of similar lines were said I and him clearly don’t remember anything তিনি বলেন "যাও কর খুলা দিলাম",
অতঃপর আমি না করে দিই করব না খুলা। এতে কি খুলা হয়েছে? এখানে তিনি শুধু অনুমতি দিতে বলেছেন খুলা দিলাম, কারণ আমি জোর করছিলাম
And I said okay since you don’t give me khul I’ll msg a mufti who’ll guide me how to do it i know someone and then exactly Mu husband said “khula dilam kot”হুজুর আমার স্বামী শুধু আমার জোর করার কারণেই রাজি হয়ে বলে খোলা দিলাম কিন্তু তার তালাকের নিয়ত ছিল না এখানে তার নিয়ত ছিল যে আমি খোলা করতে যেহেতু চাচ্ছি তাহলে করে নেই। পরবর্তীতে আমি না করি যে করব না।
: জি তিনি শুধু এটাই বলেছেন যে খোলা দিছি কিন্তু তালাক শব্দটি ব্যবহার করেনি বা তালাকের নিয়ত ছিল না। সে এখানে তার নিয়ত ছিল শুধুমাএ বুঝিয়েছেন আমি খোলা করলে করে নিতে পারি সে রাজি। পরবর্তীতে আমি তো না করি যে করব না।
As far I remember I did ask him for khula permission like I said give me khula permission but I’m 50/50 maybe I only said give me khula didn’t use the word permission at that time last year I almost talk to 8 mufti through call all of them said it’s not valid Cz I refused the khul I recently again told him to ask a mufti again by himself since he don’t remember anything well about that khul fight he asked exactly what I told him he still doesn’t remember anything today we discussed he said he only asked bcz I told him to but he doesn’t remember anything im also 50% sure he maybe didn’t said talaq word with his statement like khula talaq dilam im 50 sure or maybe he said talaq word pleas please answer about every detail I asked please im dying out of Waswasa

Answer

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

We understand your distress and the severe waswasa (OCD doubts) you are experiencing. May Allah grant you ease and remove these doubts. Ameen.

Summary of the Ruling:

No, the khula did not occur, and your marriage remains valid and intact. The husband’s words “I gave khula” were only an offer (or permission) given under your insistence, and you explicitly refused that offer. Khula requires mutual acceptance – the wife must accept the husband’s offer. Since you rejected it, no dissolution of marriage took place. Furthermore, the husband did not intend talaq (divorce), and did not use the word talaq. Therefore, the marriage is completely unaffected.

Evidence from the Qur’an and Sunnah

  1. Khula is a contract of divorce initiated by the wife in exchange for compensation.
    Allah says:

    “Divorce is twice. Then [after that], either keep [her] in an acceptable manner or release [her] with good treatment. And it is not lawful for you to take anything of what you have given them unless both fear that they will not be able to keep [within] the limits of Allah. But if you fear that they will not keep the limits of Allah, then there is no blame upon either of them concerning that by which she ransoms herself.”
    (Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:229)

    The phrase “she ransoms herself” means the wife gives up her mahr or some wealth in return for the husband releasing her. This requires offer from the husband and acceptance from the wife.

  2. The Prophet ﷺ said in the story of Thabit ibn Qays and his wife (the first known khula):

    “The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said to Thabit: ‘Take back the garden (he had given as mahr) and divorce her with a single divorce.’”
    (Sahih al-Bukhari, 5273; Sahih Muslim, 2221)

    This shows khula is a bargain – the husband agrees to divorce in exchange for the wife giving back something. If the wife does not give back or accept, it does not take effect.

  3. Regarding intention and words:
    The Prophet ﷺ said:

    “Actions are but by intentions, and each person will have only what he intended.”
    (Sahih al-Bukhari, 1; Sahih Muslim, 1907)

    The husband clearly stated that his intention was not to give talaq, but only to give you permission to take khula if you wished. Since you did not proceed, his words are of no effect.

  4. Ibn Qudamah (Hanbali scholar) said:

    “Khula is a dissolution of the marriage contract by the wife giving compensation, and it requires offer and acceptance.”
    (Al-Mughni, 7/40)

    Since you refused the offer, no acceptance took place.

Opinions of the Major Salafi Scholars

  • Shaykh ‘Abdul-‘Aziz ibn Baz (رحمه الله) was asked about a husband who said “I give you khula” and the wife did not accept. He replied:

    “It is not valid, because khula is a contract that requires acceptance from the wife just like a sale. If she does not accept, nothing happens.”
    (Majmu’ Fatawa Ibn Baz, 21/200)

  • Shaykh Muhammad ibn Salih al-‘Uthaymeen (رحمه الله) said:

    “If the husband says ‘I give you khula’ and the wife says ‘I do not accept’, then no khula has occurred, because it is a contract that requires both parties’ agreement.”
    (Liqa’ al-Bab al-Maftuh, 46/17)

  • Shaykh Salih al-Fawzan (حفظه الله) said:

    “Khula does not happen by the husband’s mere saying ‘I gave khula’ until the wife accepts and gives back the mahr or something in return. If she refuses, no effect.”
    (Al-Mulakhkhas al-Fiqhi, 2/333)

  • Shaykh al-Albani (رحمه الله) emphasized that khula is a form of divorce that requires the wife’s consent (to return the mahr) and the husband’s consent (to release her). It is not a unilateral pronouncement like talaq.
    (Silsilat al-Ahadith al-Sahihah, 6/1107)

Applying the Ruling to Your Situation

| Your Description | Ruling | |----------------|--------| | You asked for khula permission. | This is a request, not an acceptance. | | He said “Go ahead, I gave khula” / “khula dilam”. | This is an offer – he agreed to give khula if you proceed. | | You then said “I won’t do khula” / “না করি করব না খুলা”. | This is a clear rejection of the offer. Therefore, no khula occurred. | | He had no intention of talaq and did not use the word talaq. | Even if he had said “I divorce you” in anger, intention would matter, but here he only said “khula” which is not a talaq pronouncement. | | You are suffering from waswasa and do not remember the exact words. | The principle is certainty is not removed by doubt. Since you remember clearly that you refused, you must act on that certainty. |

Conclusion: Your marriage is valid. No khula or talaq took place.

Advice for Your Waswasa (OCD)

  1. Ignore the whispers of Shaytan. The Prophet ﷺ said:

    “The Shaytan comes to one of you and says ‘Who created this? Who created that?’ until he says ‘Who created your Lord?’ So if such a thought comes to you, then seek refuge in Allah and stop (thinking).”
    (Sahih al-Bukhari, 3276)

    Your repeated doubts about this incident are from Shaytan. Do not reopen this file. You already consulted 8 muftis, all said it is invalid. Accept their verdict and move on.

  2. Do not ask your husband again. It only fuels waswasa. He also does not remember details – that is normal after a year. Trust the clear principle: You refused, he did not intend talaq, so no effect.

  3. Do not let OCD control your life. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah (رحمه الله) said:

    “Whoever opens the door of waswasa and does not repel it will be overcome by it, and it will cause great hardship in his religion and worldly affairs.”
    (Majmu’ al-Fatawa, 22/534)

  4. Act upon the ruling with firmness. Say to yourself: “My marriage is valid. That incident is over. I will not think about it again.” If the thought returns, recite أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم and occupy yourself with dhikr or work.

  5. Seek a Ruqyah or Dua if waswasa persists. The Prophet ﷺ taught:

    “O Allah, I seek refuge in You from anxiety and grief, from incapacity and laziness, from cowardice and miserliness, from being heavily in debt and from being overcome by men.”
    (Sahih al-Bukhari, 6369)

Final Fatwa

The khula is not valid. Your marriage continues as before. You and your husband should live together in peace and fear Allah in your relationship. Do not let Shaytan destroy your family with baseless doubts.

And Allah knows best.

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