Does putting Quran on head count as an oath?

Wa Alaikum Assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

We understand your confusion and the distress you are experiencing. May Allah ease your affairs and grant you clarity.

Based on the details you have provided, we will analyze your situation according to the principles of the Hanafi school of jurisprudence (Fiqh).

1. Was an Oath (Qasam) Made?

Yes, according to Shariah, an oath (qasam) was made.

Here is the detailed reasoning based on Hanafi Fiqh:

• The Nature of the Oath: In Islamic jurisprudence, an oath is not only valid when the name of Allah (e.g., "Wallahi") is explicitly mentioned. An oath is also established through Qasam bil-Fi'l (an oath by action) or through a Yamin bi-Niyyah (an oath by intention).
• The Action (Putting the Qur'an on the head): Placing the Qur'an on one's head is a culturally recognized and solemn act of swearing in many Muslim societies. In Hanafi Fiqh, if a person performs an act that is understood by the people (Urf) as a form of swearing, it constitutes a valid oath. The Qur'an is the Word of Allah, and using it as a symbol for an oath elevates the seriousness of the commitment. Therefore, this action, combined with your verbal affirmation, establishes a binding oath.
• The Verbal Affirmation: You verbally stated, "Yes, I will not talk to them." This verbal confirmation solidifies the oath.
• The Issue of Coercion (Ikrah): You mentioned you were under pressure and fear. In Shariah, for coercion to invalidate an oath, it must be duress that threatens life, limb, or severe bodily harm (e.g., "I will kill you" or "I will cut off your hand").
  • The pressure of a mother's insistence, emotional distress, or the fear of "suffering harm" in a general or emotional sense (such as her being upset with you) does not constitute valid Shariah-based coercion (Ikrah) that would nullify the oath.
  • Therefore, your oath is valid and binding.

2. What Should You Do Now?

Since a valid oath was made, you are bound by it. However, you have two options:

Option A: Fulfill the Oath (The Preferred and Safest Route) The best course of action is to honor your word and completely refrain from talking to that person. This fulfills your oath, brings peace to your mother, and avoids the necessity of expiation (Kaffarah). This is the path of Taqwa (God-consciousness).

Option B: Break the Oath and Pay Kaffarah (Expiation) If, for a valid religious or worldly reason, you find it absolutely necessary to speak to that person, you may do so, but you must then pay the Kaffarah (expiation) for breaking an oath.

According to the Hanafi school, the Kaffarah for breaking an oath is one of the following, in order of preference:

1. Freeing a slave (this is practically not applicable today).
2. Feeding ten poor people two full meals each (or giving each of them the equivalent of Sadaqat-ul-Fitr, which is approximately 1.6 kg of wheat or its monetary value), OR
3. Clothing ten poor people (providing each with one basic garment).
4. If a person cannot afford any of the above, then they must fast for three consecutive days.

Important Note: You must choose one of the first three options (freeing a slave, feeding, or clothing) if you are financially able. Only if you are unable to do any of these are you permitted to fast for three days.

Summary and Advice

1. Your oath is valid and binding. You must either keep it or break it and pay the Kaffarah.
2. We strongly advise you to keep your oath. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "If you swear an oath and then you see something better than it, then do that which is better, and expiate for your oath." (Sahih Muslim). However, in your case, since the oath was made to please your mother and maintain family harmony, keeping it is the better and more virtuous option.
3. Respect your Mother: Your mother's command, while not making the oath invalid under duress, is a significant factor. Obeying her in this matter (which is not sinful) is a means of attaining Allah's pleasure.
4. If you break it: If you genuinely cannot maintain this distance and must speak to the person, then you must sincerely repent to Allah and pay the Kaffarah (feed/clothe 10 poor people, or fast 3 days if you cannot afford it).

We pray that Allah grants you wisdom, patience, and ease in this matter. May He bless your relationship with your mother and guide you to the best of decisions.

And Allah knows best.