Hanafi Islamic ruling on moving on after a haram relationship,

Answer (Summary)
You are going through a painful situation after a harām relationship. Your feelings of worthlessness and confusion are understandable, but Islam gives clear guidance: repent sincerely, do not despair of Allah’s mercy, and do not let the past prevent you from a lawful future. Praying for someone who wronged you is allowed if done with a pure intention, but his deception is a sin he will answer for. There is no basis for believing that you will be “punished” if you marry someone else; rather, marriage is highly encouraged after sincere repentance.

Below is the detailed answer with Qur’ān, Ḥadīth, and Ḥanafī references.

1. The Sin of the Previous Relationship and Repentance

A harām relationship (physical or emotional intimacy outside marriage) is a major sin. However, the door of tawbah (repentance) is always open. Allah says:

“Say, O My servants who have transgressed against themselves, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.”
(Sūrah az-Zumar 39:53)

The conditions of sincere repentance are:

Stop the sin immediately.
Regret it deeply.
Resolve never to return to it.
If any rights of others were violated, make amends.

In your case, the relationship is over (he has married), so you must cut off all contact, block communication, and turn to Allah with du‘ā’ and ṣalāt al-tawbah. Do not feel worthless – every child of Ādam makes mistakes, and the best of those who sin are those who repent (Ḥadīth: Tirmidhī).

2. Praying for a Man Who Is Now Another Woman’s Husband

Ruling: It is permissible to make du‘ā’ for any Muslim, including one who wronged you, as long as the intention is pure – e.g., asking Allah to guide him, forgive him, and give him a good life without any lingering romantic attachment or hope of rekindling the relationship.

Imām al-Ṭaḥāwī (d. 321 AH) states:

“Making du‘ā’ for a fellow Muslim, even if he has wronged you, is an act of virtue and elevates your rank.” (Sharḥ Ma‘ānī al-Āthār, 4/324)

Important caution: If your du‘ā’ is motivated by a lingering emotional attachment or a wish that his marriage fails so he returns to you, that is not permissible because it implies desiring fitnah and violation of another’s rights. Your du‘ā’ must be free from any harām intention.

Ḥanafī principle: Du‘ā’ for a specific individual who is not a relative or a person in need is allowed so long as it does not lead to sin. (Radd al-Muḥtār, 1/431, under Bāb al-Ḥajr)

Verdict: You may pray for his guidance and well‑being, but it is better to focus on your own repentance and ask Allah to remove him from your heart completely.

3. His Deception (Dhoka) and Punishment

The man deceived you by entering a harām relationship and then leaving you. This is a form of ẓulm (injustice) and khiyānah (treachery). The Qur’ān says:

“And whoever does wrong shall be requited for it, and he will find no protector or helper besides Allah.”
(Sūrah an-Nisā’ 4:123)

Punishment in this world:
If he caused you tangible harm (e.g., defamation, financial loss, physical harm), you have the right to claim compensation in an Islamic court. However, since the relationship was harām, proving such claims may be difficult, and the primary punishment is left to Allah.

Punishment in the Hereafter:
Allah is Just. He will hold the man accountable for his deception and participation in harām. The Ḥadīth warns:

“The one who deceives us is not of us.”
(Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, 101)

Your best course: Forgive him for your own peace of mind. The Prophet ﷺ said:

“Whoever forgives a wrong, Allah increases him in honour.”
(Sunan al-Tirmidhī, 3797)

Do not waste your energy seeking revenge; rather, focus on your own tawbah and building a pure future.

4. Will You Be “Punished” If You Marry Someone Else?

Absolutely not. This is a waswasah (whisper of Shayṭān) to keep you trapped in guilt. Islam encourages marriage for those who are able. After sincere repentance, your past sin is wiped clean. The Prophet ﷺ said:

“The one who repents from sin is like the one who never sinned.”
(Sunan Ibn Mājah, 4250)

You are free to marry a righteous man, provided that you do not disclose your past sin to him. You are not required to reveal your previous harām relationship. The Ḥanafī jurists (Ibn ‘Ābidīn, Radd al-Muḥtār 3/188) state that it is makrūh (disliked) and sometimes ḥarām to disclose past sins, as it spreads immorality.

Instead, make istikhārah and seek a pious spouse. Your feeling that “another marriage will be punished” is baseless.

5. Practical Advice

Repent sincerely: Perform ghusl, pray two rak‘ahs of tawbah, and make du‘ā’ of the repentant.
Cut all contact permanently: Delete numbers, block social media, and avoid places where you might see him.
Strengthen your connection with Allah: Read Qur’ān, pray on time, and keep good company.
Do not spy on him or make du‘ā’ for his downfall – that harms your own faith.
Consider marriage after istikhārah – do not let guilt stop you.
Seek professional counseling if you cannot overcome the emotional pain; Islam does not forbid seeking help.

References from Ḥanafī Sources

Radd al-Muḥtār (Ibn ‘Ābidīn): Vol. 1, p. 431 (du‘ā’ for others); Vol. 3, p. 188 (concealing past sins).
Sharḥ Ma‘ānī al-Āthār (Imām al-Ṭaḥāwī): Vol. 4, p. 324 (du‘ā’ for one who wronged you).
Fatāwā ‘Ālamgīrī: Vol. 2, p. 40 (repentance from zinā).
Fatāwā Usmānī (Muftī Taqī ‘Usmānī): Vol. 2, p. 132 – “Past sins are forgiven upon sincere repentance; one may marry without disclosing them.”
Imdād al-Fatāwā (Ashraf ‘Alī Thānwī): Vol. 4, p. 245 – “It is not allowed to yearn for a married person; one must seek a ḥalāl spouse.”